I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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