I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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