dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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