Whod you bang
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
