You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
do herpes really smell.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
