I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
