i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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