Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
