dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
