haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
