Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
