I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
only you would photoshop your dick
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
