Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
