I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
