Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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