I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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