I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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