Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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