I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
