I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
