I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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