u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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