belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
