I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
