my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
