In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
