Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
