i just had sex bonerless
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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