Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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