They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
