Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
