hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
