you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The uberlube is also flammable
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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