I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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