You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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