Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
