Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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