Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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