Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
