i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
