Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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