Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
