But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
