I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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