Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
