Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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