I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
