I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
