that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
