Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
