so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
