I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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